I'm a pretty perfectionist person and I crave for perfection in mostly everything I am passionate about. I will know the tiniest details and be steps ahead of everyone else. On the other hand, when things got a little messy, I was always the first one who said nothing is perfect. Which make me question myself, was I saying that because I think it's true, or just so I won't blame myself for the things I've done?
Two days ago (24/7) was the day I turn 20. And not only it is a big number, but turning 20 also means I'm out of my teen years. I'm the youngest child in the family and everyone always see and treat me like I'm a baby. After all these years... I'm finally not a teenager anymore. That sounds to me both exciting and frightening at the same time. Exciting, because I can't wait to start experience things on my twenties. Frightening, because it's where I want to see myself as an adult. I want to see myself be the bigger person. To be able to give way to arguments and not easily start a fight with someone. To not rant about every little problem that came along the way. Because honestly, I'm tired of seeing adult who doesn't even try to act like one.
I want to wake up in the morning feeling grateful, despite of having only few hours of sleep. I want to be grateful for every stained white shirt I own and the way my hair looks after a windy evening. I want to be grateful for every breakfast, lunch, and dinner, even when there's no food at all. I want to be grateful for everything I have, from the most complicated to the simplest things, tiniest details I don't always pay attention to. I want to see myself being grateful for flaws instead of looking for perfection in every corner of the room. Nothing is really perfect. Perfection is only there when you choose to see it. Perfection is loving someone unconditionally. Perfection is accepting flaws. Perfection is being grateful about your life, even the silliest thing that happened to you when you were 10. All of it was and is p e r f e c t.
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