Expectations and Understanding

As much as we say we don't live up to expectations, we always do. Happy or sad, satisfied or disappointed, these are all the consequences of having expectations. Happiness is when we chose to have a picnic at the park, on a Sunday in December, and the sun decided to shine the brightest that day. And disappointment feels like homesickness to love's longing eyes, knowing what love should have said a long time ago that it didn't. Regardless, we should be grateful, because having expectations makes us feel.

Relationship, in general, is full of complexities. Just like in a conversation, we expect something from our interlocutor. We don't always expect for a reply, maybe just as simple as a response. Even if it's not always in a form of a sentence. Maybe it's in a form of a knotted smile, or wrinkles on the forehead. This is because as individuals, we have different ways to express ourselves. All kinds of relationships we have. Family, lovers, friends. We expect from them. Question is, how much?

I have been through kinds of relationship—we all have—where I am completely aware of my expectations towards people. Putting my expectation up too high is an inevitable mistake. But when I am expecting something from someone, there really is nothing wrong with whatever they do. If it's going below my expectation then probably we just don't start at the same point from the beginning. Even if we do, probably I have a lot more energy to run further when they decide not to continue. Or simply because we are just running towards different directions after all. Maybe they are there and I'm here. Maybe it's not always a running field. Maybe it's a busy highway, sometimes it's a labyrinth. Maybe it's a lot better to walk than run.

At times, we feel like some people should have treated us in a certain way. You expect the best friend to pick up your call at three in the morning. And the boyfriend to know that chocolate is no longer your favorite ice cream flavor without you having to tell him. And when it's not going the way you have expected it, you blame them, for not being good enough. Who is to be blame, really.

But often we didn't see it right away—that we aim too high. We are busy minding our own businesses, fulfilling ourselves up. Does it ever occur that they, too, have expectations towards us? We expect things to happen in a certain way when all we do is anything but understand. Understand that maybe, at some point, we don't mean as much as they mean to us. Understand that maybe what they have given us, was their all.

We create our own heartbreaks and disappointments through expectations. Sometimes, we even let ourselves to force the *expected* to happen. Having expectation is like drawing a scene from a novel. You use your own imagination to interpret every little detail you read. And it may still look different than what the writer actually wanted to deliver. We don't live to fulfill one's expectation towards us and it goes the other way around. It's not their job to fulfill any of it. Expectation only exists in our heads. So what when it's not going the way it is inside you, the world is not going to fall apart. Don't let your thoughts undermine your happiness. Having expectations is one thing, but understanding is something else. Consider you're doing a little work to save yourself from every little heartbreak and disappointment.

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